Although I feel ridiculously short on this challenge last year....That baby through a wrench in my reading. My goal is to get reading this year and although I know full well unless I count the stories I read to my kids I will never get to 100, I think this is a great challenge and I will do the best I can. I hope some of you will join my on my quest to be more well read in 2011
Ok so as the new year approaches I need to reevaluate my goals for my weight loss. I am not going to make any other resolution then to work on maintaining a healthy lifestyle and being good to myself. So here are the revised goals for 2011
By my 31st and Baby J's 1st bday-50 Pounds Lost
By the end of the School Year-70 Pounds lost
By the start of the 2011-2012 school year-85 pounds lost
I am wondering if every mother has those days where they are consumed by guilt. For example I feel guilty that the kids are playing and I am blogging. I felt guilty that I could not have the patience I wanted to with my son last night. My hubs had surgery a few days ago and it has been overwhelming to say the least to take care of him, and the two kids and not loose my mind. I got really upset at my son who I knew was acting out because his big strong daddy was sick. I feel guilty because I ate cookies. I am a stress eater and have been really working hard not to binge eat well yesterday was a really rough day and the only thing around was cookies. I was really upset because I am nursing and my daughter does not tolerate dairy well. So I felt really guilty for eating those cookies not only because they are bad for me but because they are bad for her too. I know that each of these things is not going to harm them in some horrible way or make them hate me when they get older but that guilt that a mother feels never seems to go away. I think that I need to realize that as long as I love them with all my heart they are going to be just find and that is all that my kids really want. Well I am off to play with the kids, my daughter J is playing with her follow me Fiona and barking at it so perhaps now is the time to get the video camera.
Just wanted to wish those who are still readers a very Merry Christmas. We had a hectic but lovely day in our house. I have included a picture of our Christmas baby. I wish I had a holiday photo of my son-But then lets remember he is three and half and never sits still long enough to capture an image.
So to those who still know I exist in the bloggy world I am sorry for the lack of posts. Real life kicked in. I work full time as a high school teacher (which means tons of papers to grade) I have an nine month old who is still nursing (which means pumping twice a day during my lunch and free period) and a three year old (need I say more) I hardly have time to go to the bathroom let alone get all my school work, holiday shopping, working out, and blogging in. So something had to give, and sadly it had to be something that i love....my bloggy world. I am hoping to reconnect and see how everyone is doing while on holiday break (I may even have some time today) and how everyone is doing on their mommy, weight loss, and book journeys. . If I don't get to wish it to everyone via the blog, happy holidays to all.
I have realized through the help of a good therapist, that there is nothing wrong with admitting Im not perfect and that I need to ask for help. I finally came to the conclusion that I can't do this weight loss thing myself. I have been toying with the idea of joining Weight Watchers again. The first time I lost 70 pounds i did it with weight watchers. Then I gained it all back and then some (with the help of two pregnancies). For some reason I have been scared to go back to it. Scared of failure, scared of change, scared of not being able to keep the weight off again. Then I realized there is nothing wrong with asking for help, nothing wrong with admitting that loosing weight is the hardest thing I have ever done, and will ever do again. So I did it. I joined weight watchers online. I promised this time I would be completely honest, even when I eat horribly, that I need to be honest and that way this can be the last time I have to loose this weight. It was a hard decision and I am keeping it to myself (well not so much anymore) but I haven't told my hubby or my family because this is for me. This is my journey, this is my thing. And so far, so good, In two weeks I have lost 3 pounds and on my way to finishing that 25 pounds I wanted gone by labor day, only three more and I will be at 25 pounds since June (not too shabby). This is including a holiday party at our house with tons of goodies. I wasn't perfect with my eating, but then again nothing in life is!
So....no telling my secret!!!!!!! I will keep you updated on how it goes!
So I am always looking for an inspiration to move me forward, while on Saturday I saw one. My sister in law. Although I would never in a billion years think that she needed to loose weight she has struggled for a few years trying to get off post baby weight. She is very petite and in great shape but was really struggling to hit what was her goal weight. While she posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that she hit her weight. I was so excited for her becasue I know how hard it is to loose weight, especially weight that you lost and regained. I was proud, then on Saturday I saw her....it was more than proud it was jaw dropping how good she looked and instantly made me jealous. Then we chatted and you know how she got to looking that good (the old fashion way with smaller portions and exercising more) damn...I was hoping for a miracle cure. Now I was jealous for about a bit then it led to inspiration. I want that, I want to be at my goal weight. No of course I have way more than she lost I need to loose about 65 more pounds, but it inspired me that if I get exercising more and keep eating the way that I am that I can get there too. So to my sister in law...thanks for the kick in the pants I am so proud of you!
So my hubby and I love us some Oprah. We are taping the final season so we can watch it after the kids go to bed. Sadly we were really upset about the shows content on Monday about education. For those of you who may not have saw it was based on the documentary coming out "Waiting for Superman" and a lot of the episode was our bad teacher get tenured and then they teach forever and it is hurting our kids. As a teacher I would be the first to admit that bad teachers need to go. No Question, No Comment, No Buts...Bad teachers no matter how long they have been teaching need to be fired. That being said....to me the debate is about how do we judge what is bad. As a parent I know that parents feel very strongly about having a good teacher for their child (and they should). Yet, I am concerned over who and what decides a good teacher. I think that teachers should be evaluated by a department head and other veteran good teachers and evaluated on how they teach, their relationship with their students, and their ability to prepare students for tests as well as content material. What I never want to be judged on is if my students are able to take and pass a test. I teach lower level kids who for a variety of reasons they can not no matter what I do, be able to pass certainstandardized tests. I would hate to see good teachers, who love their job and are good at it, be fired for students not meeting standards.
So what are your thoughts? How should a teacher be "graded"? Who should grade them? What is considered failing?
So I haven't really been keeping up with the weight update, and unlike my usual MO its not because I haven't been loosing. I have still been loosing about a half a pound to a pound a week. As of now I have lost about 18 pounds since June and am happy with that. As usual I wish it was double that. Then again I need to remember that a pound a week in year will be 50 pounds and half way to my goal. I also know that I need to do this the right way, and in a way that fits into my lifestyle. I am not 22, living on my own, and able to go to the gym every day for at least an hour and half. That ship has sailed and so have the days of 2 plus pounds of weight loss a week. I do need to step up my game and more closely record my food intake. I am hoping to update my weight loss a bit more frequently now that I am making a better effort to work hard to find some me time everyday.
Work-That is the answer. I have headed back to work after a five month maternity leave and it has in plain English kicked my ass. Not only in the fact that I am not used to getting up and working all day, but emotionally as I leave my kids every day. I have never been the kind of woman who feels she needs to be a stay at home mom. I love my Job as a high school teacher and I would never think of doing anything else. But for some reason returning to work with two at home has been hard. There are days where I feel I am running a marathon. Between getting up and getting my oldest ready for daycare/preschool, getting the baby fed and ready for my father to come and watch her, dropping my son off, working all day without any real break (I have to use my one 40min planning period to pump as well as my lunch) and then it is home to get some time in with kids. I promised myself that when they are awake they will get my full attention so I don't do any school work but try to squeeze in some laundry or cleaning. By the time the kids get into bed, lunches are made and I have showered there is barely any time to do anything (hence the no blogging or posting from me) and don't even get my started on that cute guy who lives in my house who I barely get to speak to....I think he might be my husband but sometimes its hard to remember. Oh yeah and then there is that issue of exercising and weight loss that doesn't even begin to make my radar.
Then it hit me the other day (while having a loss of shit moment) that the best thing I can do for my kids is to take care of their mother. I need to carve out some me time in the hot mess that is this working mom lifestyle. I have decided that I am going to try to make a blog post and comment on blogs every other day, exercise even if for only 30 min five times a week, starting on Monday recording what I eat in sparkpeople and try to scrapbook once every other week. I need to be at least a little sane in this crazy world I live in.
I can honestly say that The Immortal Life of Henrieta Lacks was one of the greatest books that I have ever read. Not only was it interesting from a scientific perspective it was also a gripping tale of the lives of Henrieta Lacks. This book centers on Mrs. Lacks who died of cancer some 40 years ago but her cells were taken and cultured and are now used in most science labs world wide because of their ability to grow. They are used by almost all scientists in their research. Not only was I drawn into the scientific implications of Mrs. Lacks's cells and the story of the cells themselves, I was absolutely drawn into the store of her children, especially her daughter Deborah. As much as this book was about the science of her cells, the book was also about the daughter that was left behind. I find myself laughing, crying, and more important contemplating the fairness of it all. Here is a woman whose cells have forged some of the greatest scientific discovers of the last 30 years and her children are living in poverty, grown up without a mother, and until this book was written really had no idea about those cells and what exactly they meant to the world. This is a fascinating read, I can truly say that I haven't read anything like this ever and I am truly amazed by this book and feel it is a must read for everyone.
Something you hope to do in your life-One thing I have always dreamed of doing is getting a Doctorate degree. I have always loved school, perhaps that is why I have two master's degrees. For some reason I have always wanted the title DR. before my name. I would love on in history or psychology which is what I teach but those are super hard subjects to get a PHd in. So I am leaning towards one in education. Realistically, it will have to wait until my children are older and I have time to go back to school. I hope this is something that my future holds, but with two kids and mortgage it is on the back burner for now.
Something I need to forgive someone for-So this one might be harder than my previous post. The person I need to forgive is my husband. Although he is very open about this part of his life, I am not but I probably should be. Almost two years ago my husband set into a very severe depression. It was bad...so bad that almost two years later I am not over it. Obviously he is doing much better or I would have never had a second child, but I am still dealing with how devastating his illness was to him and me and our family. When you get married you say for better or worse, but you never think a lot about what "for worse" can mean. For me it was almost 7 month of living with a shell of the person I loved, living in a house filled with anger, sadness, and despair. That entire time I would get up every day and wish things were better, go to work and pretend things were fine, and come home to my own private hell. I never told anyone, not my parents, not my best friend, no one. I pretended that life was fine hoping that if I pretended enough it would be true. Although we have come through this (with a lot of therapy for both of us) better people, parents, and a better couple I am still angry. I am angry for the loss of those months, the pain and the hurt that I had to live through. I know it is selfish of me to say because I know it was horrible for my hubby too. I of course love my hubby and am so proud of him for getting help and getting his head and heart where it needs to be, but I do have to forgive him so that I can begin to really deal with that part of our lives and put it behind us.
I know this might sound harsh but I need to forgive myself for getting fat again. Several years ago about a year and half before I got married I lost a ton of weight (about 70 Pounds to be exact) and then after my wedding spent the next two and half years slowly gaining about 45 of that back. Then I got pregnant and went on a nine month bender. After that I was the heaviest I had been in my whole life and it took me two years to loose that weight but I was still almost 50 pounds heavier, then came baby number two. That puts me to somewhere in the 80 plus pounds to loose mark. I have to forgive myself because everyday I wake up, look in the mirror and get upset at what I allowed to happen to my body. I think that the sooner I forgive myself the quicker I will be able to feel good in my own skin again.
This has always been a harder thing for me to do. So here are a few things that I am proud of
* My sense of humor. Although my husband insists Im not as funny as I think I am, I think I'm pretty darn funny
* I love my laugh..it isn't a dainty lady laugh it is a loud (probably annoying to some) full body laugh and I do it often
*I love that I give my all to my job and I really love it and my students. I love that I am that person that wakes up everyday excited to go to work and even on the bad days can't imagine doing anything else.
Ok so I could totally take the easy way out and say my weight but that is an easy choice, I don't know many women who are happy with that aspect of their lives. The thing that I hate most about myself is my need to be liked. This quality has hurt not only me but the other people around me. I worry a lot about what people think of me and wanting to be liked. There have been numerous times in my life that I haven't said what I wanted to, not done what I wanted to because I was scared that someone or a group of someones wouldn't like what I said. I have spent way to much time worry about what someone thought of me or my actions. This has also hurt the people around me because my poor husband has to listen to me be consumed by my own insecurities and I also feel that when I am so worried about what other people think I am not making myself a happy person, the best person I can be for my children. Thankfully, I am working really hard on starting to break away from these tendencies and not spend so much of my life consumed with being liked by others and focusing on being liked by the only person who matters....me
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself. Day 02 → Something you love about yourself. Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life. Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do. Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for. Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on. Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on. Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter) Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without. Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage. Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol. Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life. Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today. Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now? Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
So last night I had a former student over for dinner. Although some people, even fellow teachers, would think it weird to have a student over to their house. They would think that it crosses some fundamental line between your work life and private life. I have never been one of those teachers that feels I need to keep those two things completely separate but I would have never thought of having a student to my house to eat because it would be weird. Last night's dinner wasn't weird it was wonderful.
This student, who I have grown close to over the past two years, has become more than a student he has become like family. Now you might be asking why or how does that happen. In truth I don't really know how it happens, it just did. This student on a good day would drive most teachers a little crazy. He was a funny kid who was too smart for low level classes but lazy enough to not be in a higher level. He couldn't sit still in his seat and was almost always off task. Yet, over the course of the two years he became one of my favorite students. I found out months ago that a lot of his behavioral issues had to deal with what was going on at home, his mom was dying and had been diagnosed with terminal cancer when he was in middle school. As I got to know him more, I realized the reason I liked him so much he was because he was like me. He got up every day, slapped on a happy face, and pretended that his life wasn't a hot mess at home. As I was getting ready to leave to have my daughter he kept telling me how much he was going to miss me not being at school everyday (even when the semester changed and he was no longer my student he came to see me several times a week to check in). I gave him my cell phone number in case of emergency and sadly he needed the number sooner then expected. A week and half before my baby was due his mother died. I was blessed to be one of three teachers he asked to a private graduation ceremony that the school held for him and his mother in her hospice care facility, I went to her funeral two days before my baby was born, and one of few people to visit me in the hospital after my baby was born was this student, I even got to see him graduate "for real". We send each other text messages about once a week to check in on each other and last night he came to dinner. Somehow along that way I became more than a teacher to him and he was something more than just "a student"
So I have somewhat dropped off in my reading lately, not for lack of desire to read, more the lack of time. By the time I have any time to read, it is after 10:30 and that is cutting into the other thing that I love and never get to do....sleep. So it took me a few months but I finally finished my second Kindlebook The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory. This chronicles the early days of King Henry's First wife-Katherine. It was a great look into the life of this Spanish Princess who was betrothed early in childhood to The Prince of Whales and grew up knowing that she was born to be Queen of England. What I particularly loved about this book was not only looking into this part of Tudor England but also getting a look into Spanish History. Having traveled to Spain during high school and visiting several of the places at are discussed in this book was lovely. I also liked that Gregory looks into the reality that religious life played in both England and Spain during this time period. The last thing that made me fall in love with the book is it gives a chilling look into what made King Henry the way he was and why he became the scary autocrat that he was. I would highly recommend this book to any historical fiction buffs, my only complaint I will make is that I wished I had read this book first in Gregory's Tudor books. I think it was a much better starting point then anywhere else. I would give this book a 4 out of 5.
So this is just a quick post about the Mother Load of all tantrums my son had two weeks ago. It was a typical day in the Momma Hunt home and something set my little cherub off. Who knows maybe the wind blew the wrong way, maybe I looked at him wrong, or most likely he was cranky from holding going to the bathroom because he is stubborn and potty training. Well he throws a big ole fit, so we gently place him in his room (i.e. he is carried kicking and screaming and dumped on the floor while shutting the door on the rage) and he continues to work it out in his room. No work it out involves screaming, crying, throwing things, and hitting his little fists on the door. We after about ten minutes he starts to calm down and I go to the door to check on him and talk to him post tantrum and as I get to the door, there is a smell......moms you know the smell that has come to mean, its time to get the wipes. So I ask him if he had an accident in his pull up and a sweet small voice says "No" my reply "Then why does it smell like poops" then I open the door and there it is. THE MOTHERLOAD (literally) a huge poop right on the floor in front of the door. This is when Momma Hunt lost whatever was left of her mind and went crazy. I was crying and laughing, and yelling to my husband "He shit on the floor, he got so pissed he shit on the floor"
That's right folks my son got so worked up that he pooped in his pull up and was jumping and kicking and pounding on the door so hard, the poop feel out of his pull up. Literally, the Motherload of all tantrums.
This is a post dedicated to my first babies-Rocky my Doxie and Sweetpea my beagle. Both of them were adopted shortly after our one year anniversary (which was five years ago this week). They were the love of our lives and now that they are gone it has been tough.
To Rockefeller WaggyBottom (aka Rocky): You were a spitfire from the second you came home. You had more attitude in your little paw them most dogs can ever dream of. Perhaps you didn't understand that you were only 14 pounds, but I didn't care I loved it. I loved your sass, your worship me tude' and I fell for it. I feel in love with you head over heels and there was nothing I wouldn't do for you or let you have. I remember your little dance that you did at me feet till I picked up up, your insistence on weekends that it was unacceptable that you sleep in your bed past 6am and how you needed to snuggle in the big bed (all the while digging your little feet into daddies back). I loved how you would bark at any dog who walked by the house trying to tell them it was yours. I remember how you cried like you were on the rack the day we brought Sweetpea home because she was totally raining on your parade (yet you protected her and bossed her around soon enough). I loved how on snowy days you would look outside see the snow, look over your shoulder and give us the look like "I don't do snow" or how you would always wait at the bottom of the steps to be picked up like a prince because you were too good for stairs. I loved everything about you and never understood how it could be that you would get sick and need to leave us so soon. Then I realized why yesterday, Sweetpea would need you to be there when she got there, she always needed you to protect her.
To Sweetpea Pumpkin Pie-You are my sweetheart, the dog with a heart of gold. It has always brought be great sadness to know that you were treated so horribly before we took you home. I have no idea who could have been so awful to such a beautful and sweet pup like you. Yet it was evident in every step you took, every look you gave that someone was awful to you, but yet somehow you managed to be sweet and loving and wonderful. We always knew that you wouldn't be a "typical" dog but we loved you so much anyways. I loved the way you tolerated your brother bossing you around, except that one day when you got so mad you started snarling at him and darned if he didn't try to steal your bed again. I loved the way you refused to sleep or sit on anything other than your bed or the furniture. Only the way a dog who never had something soft to sleep on before would do. I loved to see you on walks so happy with your tail wagging like nothing in life was better than that moment. I never stopped being amazed at how good you were with kids and babies. I remember when Dylan discovered your eyes and for a good six months would try and grab them and you would patiently let him never even flinching. Most of all I loved how when petting you, you would snuffle in our ear. We decided long ago that was your way of saying you loved us. You were a fighter, you fought a hard life before we met you, you fought to get over your past and live a happy life with us, you fought through your devastating back injury, and you fought to the last second of your last breath. For that I will always be amazed and love you for.
Most of all I loved you both, more than someone probably should love an animal and I miss you both so much it sometimes hurts to breath. I just loved you so so much, I loved you enough to let you go.
So another weigh in and I was down 1.8 pounds which is really good considering we went out to eat last night and I had fat free coconut icecream, and it is a cool 101 here in CT. Yet, I can't help obsessing about my overall short term goal of 25. For me to make it to that I need to average a wee bit over two pounds a week, I know I set a lofty goal but I am nursing and I know you can drop some serious pounds when you are, plus if I set pussy goals I would put up pussy performance. So I guess I will take this 1.8 and shut up. Also, on a sadder note it looks like today is going to be the day for my little girl. We are going to the vet today at 2 to talk to the vet and as long as he says he's ok with it we are going to put her down. It breaks my heart but I do think it is time.
Warning, not a happy post. This past September our pet beagle Sweetpea suffered a fall down our front steps and slipped a disc which led her to be paralyzed in her back half. After a very expensive stay in the Vet hospital she was able to come home and do rehab and get some of her mobility back. She spent months in her crate and now can walk, not well, and can never do stairs again. Which is tough because we live in a raised ranch. So she must be carried upstairs (which is painful for her) or she stays in her crate. On top of that she has lost her sight. This breaks my heart because she is a stray that we adopted who was horribly horribly abused. She is not a typical dog, she doesn't like toys, balls, or even really seeks out attention. She does love to be pet and snuggled but only if you go over to her. She has to be on what I refer to as puppy Prozac just to keep her stable and not having stress diarrhea. We love her dearly but we have come to the conclusion that she is a burden that is too heavy to handle with two kids, and more than that her quality of life is not good. My husband is more ok with this then I am because he is the one the mainly takes care of her. I am having a harder time mainly because she is such a generally sweet dog who has had a horrible life and I wish there was more we could do. Also, two years ago this October we put our other dog down (that dog was my world and it crushed me to put him down) and I feel that Sweetpea is our last connection to that dog. I can't imagine living in a house without a dog but I am thinking that the only reason we haven't done this sooner is because we are selfish and not thinking of what is best for her, then I question of the reverse is true, are we putting her down because it would make our lives easier. Then this AM when I took her out to go potty I bent down and pet her and looked into her eyes and saw what I did in my other dogs eyes which was sadness and that it was time. Now, the only unanswered thing in my mind is what do I tell my son about his dog. I can't even begin to think about that now.
Well after much soul searching I have realized that it is time to get tough with myself. As a mom and a teacher of teenagers I would never in a million years take the mountain of excuses that I come up with for not exercising and loosing weight. If my son gave this much attitude he would be in time out and if it were my students I would tell them to stop whining at me and just do what they have to do. So why have I been allowing myself to make excuses. I think the reason is because the thought of 80 pounds is so overwhelming it cripples me. So with the suggestion the person who is helping me with my eating issues she suggested that along with a reward for a small goal I need to have a negative consequence if I don't meet that goal. So here it is in writing I know the amount seems a bit much but I am nursing so that can really help provided I don't eat like a trucker. My goal 25 pounds by Labor Day. The reward 50.00 to the shoe store. The negative consequence 50.00 to the charity I hate the most knowing that for the next few years they will be sending me flyers etc. So here we go, no excuses its time to get the job done. I am getting tough, I mean it!!!
I am continue to read the graphic novel series Y-The Last Man. I am now on volume two and I am still really liking it. As I have said before I typically humor my hubby about reading comic book type stuff, but I am really liking this series. The premise is that all the men on the planet have been killed off and someone how this one guy and his monkey survive and no one knows why. This series focused more on the man character's relationship with his sister which was very interesting. To me the best part of this volume was the society of all women who were former prisoners. When you first meet these women all you know is that their community is way more advanced than any other one around and come it find out it is because they all lived in prison together. What is interesting is the thought that the only group of women who are really doing well in this post male society are the ones who were living in a non male society prior to this disaster. If you are looking for something different to get into, give these graphic novels a shot.
Ok so we all have those photos of us that make us want to throw up. Well I saw one this weekend. I realize I am way overweight but sometimes it hits me harder then I want it to. This past weekend was my daughter's christening I went out and got a dress that I felt really good in. My hubby said I looked good and that I needed to stop looking for another dress because the one that would make me look 50 pounds thinner wasn't out there and this one was great. My best friend said it looks super good especially with my boobs that might now have their own orbit. So needless to say when I saw the below photo I got really upset. I know that realistically it was a horrible camera angle and the dress was all scrunched up from sitting in the church pew but it hit me. I am that big again, I am going to have to loose 80 plus pounds. I feel that this is a kick in the pants to get my butt in gear. Yet, I know I can't be too hard on myself because there were better photos of me looking really nice in that dress. Yet, there is always that negative voice in my head that needs to go!
So this past Saturday I entered my little girl into her first pageant. Our local town has a strawberry festival and you could enter kids and they would be judged on their use of the strawberry theme. I have no intention of being one of those mom's from Toddlers and Tiaras but she did have a super cute strawberry dress (a hand me down) and I figured what the hell. So I get her in her strawberry outfit, I even glued on a printed strawberry to her bow. Her father made fun of me telling me I was "that mother" well five minutes after we showed up at the pageant he turned to me and said "Ok so I take that back, you are soooooo not that mom, these wackos are" In the 0-12months category there were at least four or five little babies in full blown hand made strawberry costumes and the baby that won had a handmade white gown with strawberries and red lace sewn on it and her hair was done with a matching bow. I couldn't stop laughing at my own stupidity that I figured I was the one going overboard with the full strawberry outfit. Needless to say my little girl was a bit under dressed for this competition. And you know what that is ok, because I will never be that mother. The one in the competition after us 1-2 years whose daughter had a skirt that was made to look like a stuffed basket and her top made her look like the strawberry in the basket. I am totally ok with out being that mother although she was totally robbed of the title because she was clearly the cutest baby there!!!!
Apparently no one informed me at three my son would during into a broken record. The kind that will ask a question 1000 times even though he already got an answer. Now I am not talking about the kid who asks a question and gets the answer they don't like (the big NO) Im talking about when he gets the answer he does like. As we are now one day away from my son coming home and staying home with me until I head back to work in September I start to wonder if I can do it. Not the stay at home with him thing, I mean the ability not to ignore him after the first question and run naked down the street naked for the co-po to come pick me up and take me away. For those who know it may seem odd that I have a lack of patience when it comes to this, I spend my day teaching 100 high school seniors (the low level ones with discipline problems no less) but I can handle them. Then again I have a certain way of dealing with them that does not work with my son. Please see below MY OLD JOB WAY OF DEALING WITH REPEATING Student "Do we have homework Momma Hunt "Your homework tonight is to read pages 100-110 and take notes" Student "Do we need to take notes" Momma Hunt "Nope, not all. I just said to take notes for the fun" Student "Oh I need to take notes...OK" (Worked like a charm) NEW JOB WITH OLD WAY OF DEALING WITH REPEATING (The names have been changed to protect the guilty) Reno the Repeater "Momma may I have dessert after my dinner" Momma Hunt "Yes Reno you may after you finish your dinner" Reno "Momma can I have dessert please" Momma Hunt "No, You can't, that is why I just said yes" Reno " MOMMMMMMAAAAAA I WANT DESSERT, YOU SAID I COULD HAVE DESSERT" Momma Hunt"help me" You can see how my usual tactic of dealing with this no longer works! Perhaps I need to revise my strategy. Or there is always that running naked down the street option (although my post baby body is not ideal for that)
So this week I have been really working hard and making time to exercise. My hubby and I even took the kids to the mall and walked for about 40 minutes and then went to the play area with my son. My eating has been ok, not great. I think when I lost four pounds last week I got a bit sloppy with some of my choices....but back to the exercise. I have been trying really hard to exercise everyday no matter what. Last night I even busted out the EA Sports which is a fairly hard workout and will be doing it again in about an hour after I feed the baby before I meet another mommy for lunch. But let me tell you about THE DAY FROM HELL.
Now that a few days have passed I don't think it was really that bad in retrospect but when you are living it. IT SUCKS. Sometimes the stay at home mom bit takes my breath away (and not in a good way) My daughter has been having issues with spitting up after eating. So
on Friday we were doing good enjoying a quiet morning then I decided to try and exercise. She started crying so she ate, then spit up all over me and herself. Two outfits later (for both of us) she was settled in. I finally get the baby settled, myself fed, and am ready to exercise. My hubby calls and wants to the mow the lawn which means I need to pick up my son from daycare (20min away from our house). So now I have to wake up the baby, feed her, and of course she spits up over EVERYTHING. So another outfit later (for both of us) we are in the car. As soon as I get my son in the car, I know what kind of mood he is in. The kind only a tired three year old can achieve. By some miracle of God we get through dinner and he is in bed. So I figure instead of Wii Fit or a tape I will just take the dog for a nice long walk. Well we get out of the driveway, she drops a poop, and then proceeds to do the doggy poop squat in the road and refuses to move. Four pooplets later and the bag filled with squishy doggy poop I have to drag her home. Not to mention my ipod dies while walking. I bring the dog in now I am really pissed and hostile and my husband says to me "Whoa you have been in a really bad mood lately" to which leads to a 20min discussio
n about my mental well being. So I am ready to take a shower and my husband goes "Honey don't you want to exercise" my brain is screaming NO NO NO NO. So what do I do. Have a crying moment in the bathroom and come out and workout for a half hour then take my shower. I figured if after a day like that, that is when I really need to exercise. I was proud and glad that day was over.
I have struggled with my weight forever. If you look at this past post you will see that even during my pregnancy I had to watch my weight. I did ok this pregnancy and gained somewhere around 30 unlike the 60 last time. The problem was I did not loose all of that 60 from the first time, plus I was overweight to begin with. With the help of a lovely Dr I am really working hard to overcome some of my eating issues, and I do have a lot of them. I realized the second that I got pregnant with a little girl I needed to get my butt in gear and make sure that I was a good role model of what a healthy woman looks like and what a healthy woman eats like. So after quickly loosing 20 pounds, then gaining five it back I have committed to working on healthy eating. I have been putting off starting this journey for a 100 reasons but the main one is because it is hard. It is hard to make the effort to exercise, it is hard to give up the things I love, it is hard to say no thank you I don't want that super tasty dessert (or whatever treat you put in front of me). Years ago I did weight watchers and lost a lot of weight but I couldn't keep it off and that was devastating (and hard to deal with). So I have come to the conclusion that the only way I am going to do this is with hard work. Hard work at exercising, hard work at eating right, and hard work at getting my head and heart in the right place. Hard work sucks but then I just need to look at my two beautiful children and realize that if they aren't worth the hard work, then what is.
So hear we go again.... Hopefully this will be the last time I have to loose the weight and then I can keep it off forever
Right before I had my daughter I finished a great book about Tsarist Russia. This was a great read for anyone who loves historical fiction. This book is about a young Kitchen boy, who lived with the Tsar Nicholas and the Royal family while they were under house arrest in Siberia prior to their execution. This was a great look into the last days of the Russian Tsar and what their life must have been like during their imprisonment in Russia. What was great about this book (which I love in all books) you thought the book was heading in one direction but had a surprise in the last few chapters. The only complaint I have is that having read this author before I do not feel that the ending of the book with its twist was really that historically accurate. Yet again, I guess I should have realized that this is historical fiction and the entire thing is not accurate, but still it was a bit unbelievable for my taste. This is a must read though for anyone who loves Russian History. This is a four star book!
This past weekend my little man turned three. I don't quite know how that happened, but it did. Somehow before my very eyes my small little baby with the pineapple shaped head turned in to a super cute blond little man. Although I think he is the greatest little person I know with such a sweet and loving disposition, he can sometimes push me to the limits of sanity. I am thinking this is what three year olds are suppose to do though. In those moments where he is pitching a fit, or refusing to use the potty, or crying about something not going his way, I long for the times when he was a baby and would snuggle on my chest for hours. I feel that at times I mourn for the baby that he used. That is until he comes bounding up to me and looks at me with his bright blue eyes and says "Momma, your my best friend, I love you" and gives me a hug and a kiss. Then any sadness about the loss of my baby is no more, because a baby can't say I love you (or throw a tantrum, but that is another post).
So I have been off the grid in terms of blogging for awhile. The baby and I came down with a horrible case of thrush which if any nursing mom has had they know that this is horrible. So needless to say I have been bit overwhelmed. Well this were finally starting to setting in, we are getting ready for a my son's third birthday, and I even began exercising again. I have the routine of dropping my son off at daycare/preschool then spending the day with my little girl. Well yesterday we got some sad news. Dylan goes to a home daycare that is run by three sisters whose mother originally started the daycare center twenty years ago. Well sadly she has been in failing health. Well yesterday when I dropped Dylan off one of the sisters came over and was really upset and said the daycare was closing early because mom was dying and they needed to go to the hospital. Needless to say she passed away yesterday which breaks my heart because these ladies are like family.
Well now on to the totally selfish part of me. I AM HOME ALONE WITH TWO KIDS!!!!! Not that I haven't done this but I wasn't planning on the stay at home mom thing for another month with both kids. Plus this week I needed to clean the entire house and get all the party supplies for the 40 plus person bday party on Saturday. Right now there are about 100 trucks on the floor of my living room, a slightly cranky baby, and an unshowered momma. Do you think I will make it??????
Well let me start by saying that this is my first book review of a kindle book. My hubby got me a kindle for Christmas thinking that it would be useful for me to read while nursing the baby, and he was correct. I can totally multitask which I love. I got the name of Phillippa Gregory from my friends at work who love anything Tudor. I did not know which book to start with in the Tudor collection so I started with this one. I loved it. Then again, huge history buff so that might be why!!! The only thing that was a bit tough for me was that I had a hard time keeping everyone straight in the beginning. I think it would be best to have a bit of background on who everyone is in Tudor England to help you out. Plus reading on the Kindle did not make it easy to go back and look up names from previous pages etc. What I enjoyed most about this book was the author's ability to not only show the historical aspects of England at this time and the fear that was felt around King Henry, but more than that she really did a nice job of what it meant to be a woman during this time in England. Gregory did an excellent job of capturing some of the desperation that comes from being a woman during this time period and a woman's complete lack of options and rights in Tudor England. A great read for anyone who like historical fiction. I gave it a four out of five stars!
Well lets just say that I had false high hopes for the dentist. I was bringing Dylan to the pediatric dentist that I had gone to as a child. It is a great place that they let the kids wear sunglasses, give prizes, and even allow them to enter the monthly raffle for adoptable pets (the newest animal at build a bear gets to be adopted by the winning child). Dylan was so excited to go we talked about it for days and even woke up at six in the morning asking when we were leaving. You all know where this is headed. So we get there still excited, We walk into the examine room-still excited, we are asked to sit in the chair-Hysterical panic sets in. So here I am, one month out from a c-section, and he is on my lap and won't leave. They were great with him trying to encourage him, work with him, bribe him etc. Then finally the dentist comes in and asks if they can help me "hold him" so she can check his teeth and not to worry that this happens all the time. So the two assistants come in and hold him into the chair and the dentist used Dylan's new tooth brush to prevent him from biting her fingers while she checks her teeth. The entire time he is screaming and crying and the dentist is continuing to tell me what great teeth he has and that this is all normal. So finally, the trip is over and sniffling Dylan has gotten his prize I am stressed and sweating from the battle. A half hour later we are eating lunch and Dylan looks at me with a big smile and asks me "Momma, Can we go to the dentist tomorrow"
That was when I thought to myself that perhaps I might not be prepared for what everyone tells me are the terrible threes.
So although this story is a few days behind (well weeks) it was too good to not tell. On our last day in the hospital a nurse was showing me how to help bathe the baby. All things were going well until I heard the slightest little toot. Then, well, then all hell broke loose. Josie let out a fart/poop that had such force it shot out of the bassinet, across the room and hit the privacy curtain, the wall, and the door. The nurse was so shocked she just sort of stood there for a few minutes, that was enough time for Josie to move on and start peeing all over everything. Then as we were beginning to clean up this explosive mess, little dainty Josie let another poop rip all over her bassinet (needless to say some items such as the weight chart from her bassinet are not going to be making it into her baby book). The nurse who was helping me said after we were done cleaning and sanitizing everything that in her almost 30 years of being a maternity ward nurse she has never seen a baby poop with such force it shot out across the room. Look at my little girl already breaking records!!!!!!
How coincidental that I was offered to review this book a week before Josie was born. I thought that this was just going to be another "What to expect when Expecting" but was very pleasantly surprised to find that this was a quick, informative read for anyone who is expecting. This book covers all topics like pregnancy, to birth, to nursing, even potty training. Although my personal favorite chapter was the chapter titled "Every Child is Genius, not just yours" which gave great insight into not only that is OK to be proud of your child, but to realize that everyone is as proud of their child as you are of yours. I thought that this would be a great gift to give any expecting friend on her journey to motherhood. It is filled with great tidbits of information but not overly medical in nature. I also liked that there were always fun, is published by by parenting expert and SheKnow.com contributor Jen Klein it has a lot of useful websites that a new mom or mom to be could use to her benefit. Being that this is a nice quick read (I read it the first four days I was home from the hospital) I would say it is a must for every expectant mom!!
Well as some of you may have noticed I have been absent from the blogging world, with good reason on March 29th and 7:55 I had my beautiful daughter Josephine Rory Hunt (aka Josie). She was a petite 7 pounds 12 ounces 19 inches (every doctor said she was going to be well over 8 so I was shocked when she was that small). This time around I had a planned c-section which was an odd experience to say the least. It is weird to know that when you wake up that day that in less then three hours I would have a new baby in my life. I was actually really scared to get an epidural this time around, since last time I was in such pain after 12 hours of labor I didn't care what they stuck in my back, but that was no painful at all. Sadly, due to some unforeseen complications with scare tissue from my c-section and only giving me a spinal that only lasts about an hour and half, my surgery was very very painful, to the point that it really takes away from the birth of my daughter. Apparently spinals only last for an hour 1/2 to two hours and my surgery took much longer then expected to the spinal wore off before my surgery was over and lets just say it was no a pleasant experience. Yet, when all was said and done I had my beautiful baby girl and that is what is really important.
After a few days in the hospital we came home and I can't get over how different it is the second time around. I feel 100 times better, 100 times less stressed, and 100 times more confident about nursing. Don't get me wrong there are times where doing the newborn thing is still super hard but this time I am not feeling as overwhelmed, things are going great. So great the cynic in me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, but for now I will enjoy it.
Ok so yesterday I had a rough rough day. I was having horrible hip pain (which I have been having for the last two months) and sizable amount of pressure and contractions. With the baby only two weeks away I was feeling crappy to say the least. So being the facebook/twitter junkie that I am I posted on my status that I felt the ninth month of pregnancy was overrated. Well the first comment I receive was for a colleague at work saying that perhaps I should remember those people who want to have children and can't and to enjoy it. So I instantly feel like an a-hole and a piece of garbage. I do have friends (mainly co-workers) who have struggled or are struggling with fertility issues. I know the person who posted this has struggled with with getting pregnant. I totally felt like garbage and felt bad about making this comment and striking a nerve with her and possibly other people. Then I started to think. Not that my comment wouldn't have offended people, but I started to question is facebook the place to remind someone that they might not be being politically correct (for lack of a better word). Yesterday was a tough day for me, if one of my friends (even those who are experiencing infertility) asked me how I was doing, I don't think I would have lied and slapped a smile on my face and pretended I wasn't in horrible pain and still having to work for another week. So now I start to feel guilty for getting annoyed about these comments I made. What can I say I am working mom and have guilt down to a science. So I am wondering what are your thoughts? Was I totally insensitive? Was the comment uncalled for in response to my complaining? Would you restrict yourself on facebook/twitter because you don't want to offend people? PS-HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
Over the past few months I have been privileged enough to be a Guinea pig of Ann. A co-worker and friend of my hubby. She has been developing a wide range of body products that contain all natural ingredients. I was lucky enough to sample several of the lip balms, the body scrub, the lotion stick, as well as the body cream. All of which I loved. All of my lotion samples came scented with Lavender, which I was nervous about since sometimes I don't like the smell of lavender. Yet I loved the smell, very calming and relaxing. My favorite product was easily the lotion stick that I use nightly on my very big baby belly and I love it. My husband loves the body scrub lotion for his dry skin, and we both swear by the lip balm. Although Anne is just getting started in her business you would never know it by the profession look and most importantly superior quality of her products. I like the products so much that I recently bought some for a baby shower gift for a nice treat for the expectant mommy. So if you are in need of a gift, for yourself or a friend, check out Ann's Good Stuff
Ok so I never read comic books, perhaps it is a boycott of the huge vast collection that my husband has in our office that I never understood. He is an avid collector, reads several series, and collects even more, so I think sometimes I don't read comics or graphic novels out of spite. Then again, he also does not understand the joy that comes from buying several pairs of shoes. Anywho.........My husband has read what he refers to as the most amazing graphic novel of our time. He loved it so much he asked me to read it as well. I was hesitant at best, but I he promised if i hated it, I would not have to read the rest of the books. So I sucked it up and read the first volume of this graphic novel. Needless to say, I think he was right, it was good, really good.
Y-The Last man is a graphic novel based on story line that a virus/disease of somes sort has wiped out the entire male population except for one man. His mother is currently a high ranking official in the government and now he becomes something that everyone wants, the last man. Some people want to get their hands on this guy so that he can repopulate the earth, other "feminists" want him to kill him so that the world can be ruled by women (cloning is occuring so there really isn't a "need" for men). Yet this guy only wants one thing, his girlfriend who is on the other side of the world. This volume leaves off on this man sneaking away from his security detail to go and find his girlfriend without regarding the fact he is the most important person in the world and needs to be careful.
Although reading a story in comic form is still a bit out of my comfort zone, I love the story line enough to plug along and read some more of the series. It is a quick fun read for someone who is looking into reading something other than the norm.
Despite the fact that I spend my day with about 100 or so high schoolers (mainly Juniors and Seniors) there are times that I am scared to grow old. Many of this kids are given everything they want without working for it, they are disrespectful, and the general apathy that they have for life in general can sometimes get overwhelming. Although most of the time I love my job and my students sometimes it hard not to get nervous about who is going to be taking care of me and our nation when we get older. Last week was one of those weeks, until I went to the grocery store. We had a busy weekend planned so we decided that one of us would go to the store on Friday night after out little monkey was in bed, so I volunteered. So after waddling my way through the store I get in line. Just in time to see some 20 year old piece of trash walk up to her boyfriend and go "here is the cheese you wanted" his reply "Not that kind" and she throws it onto the magazine racks where it is going to spoil and go bad. When I get up the the register I tell my cashier and she has my bagger go take care of it. She also notices that I am missed an envelope for the cards i am buying, the woman behind me simple says "its OK I am not in a rush go get an envelope" since she heard me say, I didn't want to hold up the line and get the envelope. Well I waddle my way to the cards, waddle back, am now huffing and puffing and probably sweating and I begin to bag my groceries. At this point the teenage son of the woman behind me (the nice envelope lady) comes up to me and says "Ms. would it be OK if I bagged your groceries for you" I almost burst into tears right there on the spot. It was probably all the waddling and hormones that made me overly sensitive, but i was truly moved. Even if his mother made him, this teenage boy offered to bag my groceries because it was the nice thing to do. I must have thanked him 10 times before waddling my way out to the car. Now if only he could have come home with me and unpacked them....
Let me start off my saying I am obsessed with this part of Russian History. In college I was privileged enough to take a course that was only about the rise and fall of Tsar Nicolas and his family. Although Alexander's book "The Kitchen Boy" is in my pile of to be read books, this was a Christmas gift that caught my attention and moved quickly to the top of the pile. I loved the book from beginning to end and can honestly say I might need to add to my Robert Alexander collection.
What I liked about this book was that there was just enough back story for those who might not know Russian history (or in my case forgotten it). This is a lovely story telling the tales of both a Romanov woman (Grand Duchess Ella) and a Revolutionary (Pavel). It is a great showing of how these two people lived in juxtaposition in Revolutionary Russia. I was very fascinated by the details of Ella's life and how after her husband's tragic death she went on to a life of service. I was also drawn to the inner turmoil that she felt as a character about her families inability to change and make headway in this harsh period of Russian History. Although I won't go into detail for those who hope to read this some day, the ending in which these two characters are intimately tied forever was amazing.
Again, this was a lovely book with just enough drama and history to keep me sucked in to the very last word. I can't wait to finish a few more books and get to my next Robert Alexander book.
I am a wife and mother to two wonderful kids and two amazingly annoying and super cute rescue dogs. I love blogging, reviewing books, and my job as a high school teacher. Also, I am only slightly obsessed with nail polish and my favorite circle of moms over at Mamavation